As I drove to Michigan in the early morning hours of August 22, I was looking forward to what lay ahead while at the same time feeling more than a bit nervous. What would the people be like? Would I feel comfortable among them? Would my fledgling harp skills be good enough? Should I have waited longer… read more…known more about playing the harp and/or music and/or hospital settings before I actually attended either of the Modules? What was I really getting myself into???? It’s a wonder I didn’t just turn around and go back home!! Quite honestly, I was tempted, but I took a deep breath, forged ahead, and will be forever grateful that I did.

Our first gathering on Sunday afternoon was a mixture of those of us currently enrolled in the program and those who were there to learn more about it. After an introduction to the program, Christina turned our attention to the seven modes, playing a bit of each and asking us to write down how each made us feel. This was very helpful to me, not just as a review of material I had already read, but to have the opportunity to really experience the emotional qualities of each mode and develop a better understanding of how each can be used in the work of the harp practitioner. We spent some time working on transitioning from major to minor modes and how the different chord intervals evoke feelings of openness, hope, dissonance, resolution. Each of us created a painting depicting light and dark. Out of that came the assignment to create an original composition interpreting the painting into major and minor modes which would be played before the group on the final day of the module. We also touched briefly on resonance, resonant tone and the importance of playing music to match the breathing and the resonant tone of the patient. My impressions at the close of the session were how very important it is for the practitioner to be sensitive to the individual they are working with, to be highly skilled in their ability to play music, and to understand and respect the power of the music they play.

Monday’s focus was on Resonant Kinesiology and Inclusive Attention. Inclusive Attention is defined as a meditative state in which a person is aware of his/her own somatic, emotional and cognitive experience and expands his/her awareness to include another person. This does not mean to lose your sense of self or obliterate your boundaries, it means that you become fully present to what you hear, see, or sense without agenda or judgment and maintain the ability to be spontaneous and creative in order to work with whatever is willing to meet you. The Resonance Model of Healing begins with the skill of inclusive attention – we need to identify the resonant tone of a patient – and their surroundings -- in order to reflect back what’s already there and follow it. Resonance (two things vibrating at the same rate) can cause disintegration of something’s integrity (ie: sound breaking glass) and can also be used to facilitate a healing response by increasing energy and allowing the body’s own healing mechanism to kick in. One of the exercises was extremely powerful for me. It was the one where Judith and two students left and reentered the room three different times, and we were to write down how they made us feel, just by looking at us. It was amazing to me. The first time they all were thinking “Something is wrong with these people and it’s my job to fix them.” The second: “These people are hurting and it’s my job to help them.” Finally: “”I’m curious about these people – what’s going on?” The difference between the feelings I personally felt between the first thought and the third was phenomenal. I picked up on the judgment of the first, making me feel inferior and extremely uncomfortable, whereas in the last, I felt much more comfortable, because they were more open and accepting. It struck me that in working with hospital patients especially who may be feeling out of balance and out of control, it is extremely important to suspend any habit I may have of making judgments and put forth the thoughts of compassion, openness, acceptance. The very clear demonstration in this exercise is that everything, including thought, is vibration. In the work of the harp practitioner, the key is to attend with sound – to develop the awareness of what is already there and working with it – not projecting sound into the patient or having any sort of agenda.

That evening, we gathered together informally as a group to go through the book of rounds and to select pieces we wanted to prepare for our Thursday performance for the Sisters and at the hospice. It was a really wonderful time for us because it allowed us to get to know each other better and learn how to work together, and it was really fun just to play music with a whole group of people. I loved every minute of it!!

Tuesday’s activities picked up on resonance and inclusive attention as Christina presented some very important and very practical information on actually working with patients. She demonstrated how to identify both the resonant tone of the individual AND the resonant tone of the room and talked about how important it is for the practitioner to be aware of and trust his/her own intuition with each patient, and to know why the patient is there. For example, for a coma patient, it is important to play music that is familiar to them to bring them out – they don’t need to be calmed down. Major modes work best for this as they are outreaching, whereas minor modes are inreaching. For heart attack patients, the music should be in major modes as well, particularly Ionian, calming, but not familiar to avoid the emotional charge a familiar piece may have on them. She also showed us how to identify the patient’s receptive side and where to place the harp for optimal effectiveness and how to watch eye movement, breathing tempo for the continued exploration of “what is willing to meet me here.” Following that, we spent a good deal of time in small group activities designed to help us practice that exploration and identify resonant tones. These exercises were extremely practical and helpful, because they demonstrated very clearly how much is involved in the work of the harp practitioner and how much knowledge and skill it takes to do it well. We also did some work with mapping as a valuable tool for composition, a really fun exercise in story telling with the harp, and on toning and visualization. In all, the day was somewhat overwhelming and at times frustrating because during some of the exercises (particularly with the one involving mapping and the one where we had to communicate non-verbally from heart to heart) I felt that I just wasn’t getting it. A great deal of information to take in, so much to pay attention to, a tremendous responsibility to know what you’re doing before you even walk into a patient’s room. I was feeling exhausted, disquieted and my confidence level was pretty low. But I know I learned a lot and had a great deal to think about.

On Tuesday evening, we met with Christina to finalize our program for the Sisters and to practice for our performances. We also worked on music development and transitioning between modes. Again, I absolutely loved playing with the group and doing so helped me to get back some of the confidence I had lost during the day. I really felt that we were well prepared to “go public.”

Wednesday for me, thankfully, was a much gentler day than Tuesday. We didn’t really do any small group work which was a much needed respite. The focus of the morning was on living anatomy. Judith started us out by having us “move” through and feel all the bones in our own bodies. We then sat together and read aloud the handout about the skeleton and the digestive, respiratory, circulatory, and nervous systems of the body. The next subject was Energy Anatomy -- the Meridians and the Chakras. I have done some reading on the Chakras, but knew almost nothing about the Meridian system so I found this presentation especially interesting and it whetted my appetite to learn more. The body is a truly amazing thing! Moving back into the practical, we spent a great deal of time on Hospital Etiquette, from personal hygiene and immunizations, to how to create a healing space (your own presence, positioning, ambience, voice, and gracefulness), protocols, and charting. We reviewed equipment commonly found in a patient’s room and categories of medications and their effects on the patient. We also went over hospice etiquette in preparation for our Thursday visit. All of this was extremely helpful to me because I currently have no hospital experience and it is important to understand both how to behave within that setting and the self-care necessary to protect you as the practitioner and the patients. The afternoon included a discussion on marketing IHTP and ourselves, a review of the practicum that is required for certification, and then a wonderful presentation by Christina on the Five Elements. I am looking forward to the release of the video on this!

Thursday was performance day. We performed as a group for the Sisters in the Nursing Home on the site of the Sisters of Mercy Retreat Center. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, and our audience was most appreciative that we were there. This was a great learning experience for me because, even though our playing was far from perfect, the Sisters seemed to just delight in the fact that we were there and that we wanted to play for them. Very positive indeed. In the afternoon, we went to the local hospice. This was the part of the week that I was extremely nervous about, but, honestly, it was amazing. We played as a group in a waiting room as Christina took us one by one into individual patient’s rooms. When it was my turn, we found the room of a lovely, gracious woman who, despite being, in her words, “out of it”, was very hospitable and open to our being there. Christina, thankfully, stayed with me while we broke the ice with her, and once she left, I had a chance to play some soothing improvisational music for her as she closed her eyes and relaxed. After a few minutes, she opened her eyes and said she wanted to hear something she knew. She tried to name the piece, but wasn’t able to, so I asked her if she knew “Scarborough Fair”. She said she wasn’t sure, so I began playing it for her and she again relaxed for a few minutes, although her eyes were open and she was quite alert. I finished playing and we talked for a little while and then I felt moved to offer to let her play my harp. She really wanted to, so I very carefully placed it over her so that she could reach the strings and she managed to pluck a few of them just before a nurse walked in and her phone started ringing. At that point, it seemed like a good idea to end our visit, so I thanked her for letting me visit with her before I left the room. She was so sweet and really seemed happy that I had been there. I think about her often and wonder how she is doing. She gave me a real gift that day – the courage and the confidence to continue on this journey to become a certified therapeutic harp practitioner.

Friday was all about Reiki. Judith did a wonderful job of defining what Reiki is, the lineage, how it works, and the healing effects of the practice. Most importantly, that Reiki can never harm and that is a very effective means of self-care – a particularly important part of being able to function as a harp practitioner. She explained that the person performing Reiki acts as a conduit, a channel, for energy to flow in through the crown and out through the hands. It is very much about being and allowing – not doing – again, what is willing to meet me? The person on whom Reiki is being performed draws through the practitioner what they need. The healing effects of Reiki increases the person’s overall energy (Chi), balances depleted or congested areas of the body and results in a relaxation response. She talked about the steps involved in training to be a Reiki Master, on how to perform Reiki on oneself and on a patient/client. We spent about an hour in meditation as a group while Judith took each one of us out of the room and performed the process of attunement on each of us. We spent the remainder of the day practicing Reiki on each other. This was an amazing experience, both as the one giving and as the one receiving. The energy flowing through my hands was incredible!

Our last morning together was Saturday. Christina gave us the results of the questionnaire we had completed earlier in the week relating to the Five Elements and made suggestions to each of us as to what music would be appropriate to us in trying to balance those elements. We then reviewed all the tools that we had been given during the week as well as the steps required to earn certification as a Certified Therapeutic Harp Practitioner. Then it was time for each of us to perform our original compositions based on the paintings we had done during the first session. This was nerve-wracking for all of us, but an important experience, nonetheless. I think what happened is that our paintings represented experiences in our lives that were very personal and very painful and that our compositions were an expression of that. I know it was hard for me to keep my own emotions under control and was quite grateful to get through it. Our final act as a group was to form a circle of tone surrounding three of our fellow students. What a lovely and gentle way to end this wonderful week and go back out into the world.

I left the group and retreat center feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude for having been a part of this very special week. It was both an honor and a privilege to meet and work with Christina, Judith and Betty, who so generously gave of their knowledge, skill and talents. My fellow students were a very impressive and talented group of people and I am blessed to have had the opportunity to get to know each of them. Everything that I learned during this time shed tremendous light on how much more I really still have to learn and to do on this journey toward certification. I look forward to continuing to work toward that goal and to experiencing and learning all that is still ahead of me. By the grace of God and my own hard work I will get there.

ANOTHER REVIEW

Module 2 IHTP Program in de “Poort” from our European Class

Inclusive Attention:

            The main aspect of this day was the realization that our therapeutic harp playing is essentially carried out while in a meditative state. Reflecting on this idea made me realize that a part of my preparation can be aided by cultivating this ability in other areas, such as yoga and other forms of meditation. I have also found it very useful to go through the process of getting grounded every time I play, hopefully balancing my own breathing with my playing. I hope this will eventually make it second nature. The pace of the presentation allowed for a gentle assimilation of the ideas, the concepts were simple in theory but not so easy in application; being able to apply them was a chance to internalize and reflect on how it 'felt'. I was pleased to find that I was able to get into a deep state of relaxation, the challenge for me will be trying to keep that grounded feeling once faced with 'another' in need of that energy. Our hospice visit was an excellent opportunity to practice that and watch Tina apply it as well. The exercise where we walked in a circle and greeted others was really eye opening for me. It has changed the way I think about encounters because I noticed that a lot of me goes 'out' to people and I struggle to 'reel' it back in again, which is probably why it is so hard for me to say goodbye to people I care about and often leave feeling drained and empty. The emphasis on learning to say a proper 'goodbye', emphasized also in the Reiki sessions, is something I am going to try to cultivate. It seems crucial in self-protection and may be the key to enable me to take on situations that I previously feared might be too difficult to manage. If it is possible to overcome this, I hope that this will allow me to help people without 'losing' bits of myself. I was pleased to find that saying goodbye to a very dear friend this morning in Brussels was difficult, but by remembering our session it was certainly easier than expected. (or could it have been that I was thinking of those Belgian Waffles????:)....

Resonant Tone:

            This day was really the crowning moment for me, a true culmination of a journey. I was truly amazed by how the process worked and simply could not believe that I was getting exactly the right tones for my partners, I was particularly pleased when the tone that I had found for Daniela was confirmed by Tina! It has given me confidence and I cannot stop myself from trying to figure it out for everyone I meet now...even the lady on the train beside me! To have the whole process clear in my head is like finally finding that closure in a novel, but now it feels like being handed the road map for a great adventure! The toning exercise was very interesting as well and has encouraged me to develop my singing voice again. Finding out my own resonance tone has made a lot of my compositions make a lot more sense to me now, I hope this will make me more self-aware and allow me to expand my repertoire by using the whole process of matching to create pieces that are closely associated with certain situations.

Anna and Joachim:

            This was the day that I was most apprehensive about. I was concerned that it would conjure difficult memories for me and put a damper on the incredibly excited mood we were all in, but of course I felt very guilty about this. I was very relieved to find, that once the overall impact of the place wore off (the smells, the evidence of illness) I was able to focus more on how to reach out. I think the language played a double role; in a way it shielded us from being overwhelmed by information, but it also disconnected us from the overall feel of the place. Ironically, this was a very good first exposure; a good balance of protection and exposure. Our individual sessions with patients brought home to me the importance of what we had discussed about inclusive attention. I found myself tending towards 'dissolving' in the situation, becoming so focused on the person that I lost a sense of self. I had to consciously remind myself to become grounded again. Ultimately what was the most eye opening was observing first hand the very subtle, as well as not so subtle, shifts in the patients. The only way I can describe them is a shift in consciousness, from being 'in another place', to being here, with the music and the harpist. It seemed that there was more focus and vitality in the room, as well as a calm at the conclusion of each session. Playing in the lounge emphasized the importance of repertoire as well as the need to be able to shift from the kind of playing needed in a patient room and the kind of 'entertainment' playing. Playing with a group made this very reassuring, but I realized that it would pay to treat this lounge playing as one would treat any public presentation; know your audience and come prepared. Interaction also seems to be an excellent way to keep the audience engaged, as well as playing songs the audience can sing along to. I also could see that the presence of a staff member helped us relax, as well as the patients. I was very touched to see that one of the patients had followed us from lounge to lounge in her wheelchair, and when we were saying goodbye, she held my hand and kissed it. I cannot know what the music meant to her, but I imagine that it must have made her very happy that day.

Being surrounded by my colleagues helped to alleviate some of the anxiety, and I imagine that playing alone would be a challenge at the beginning, but one which I think will quickly become less so.

Reiki:

            This was a terrific day to follow after the hospice, it allowed me to recharge and relax as well as providing a chance to bond further with the members of our group. I was truly amazed by the physical effects of the practice, mainly the heat in the hands. What I did notice though was that it seemed to be accentuated with the people I had had the chance to develop rapport with. I have been practising it before bed and am very pleased with the results. I also appreciated being taught a meditative tool that can be applied in my playing.

Hospital Etiquette and Death and Dying:

            This day was to the point and informative. The session on the elements and overtones was very interesting and I was very intrigued by the correlation between the Western and Chinese music. I have been reflecting on my own balance, and can definitely remember times when I had far too much earth (too much introspection)! I have learnt to temper my fire, perhaps by becoming more of a water person. I also hope to be able to understand the fourth octave overtones on a higher level and try to incorporate it into my compositions.

Concert:

            The experience of the concert was very special. The setting was magical and observing the audience, how calm and happy they seemed was a major part of the experience for me. I was touched by the patients who came in their hospital beds, and it made me realize once again that the people we play for used to go to concerts, out to dinner, parks and the beach and generally enjoy themselves; pleasure, relaxation and leisure are not easy to come by in a hospice setting yet that is what these people have been doing their whole lives. It inspired me to consider performing similar benefits as it seems to serve multiple purposes at once; bringing the music to people who cannot necessarily access it, allowing their families to engage in an enjoyable activity with them, promote the cause of harp therapy and raise funds. I was inspired by Tina's idea to set up a fund to support therapy sessions for the patients themselves. Overall, it was a real watershed for me; the ability to perform in public without the anxiety I often feel. I know that had a lot to do with the support of everyone and everyone's confidence and non-judgemental environment.

Composition:

It was a revelation for me to realize that by internalizing an idea about a composition, allowing it to mature in my mind, it could then be realized musically more rapidly than I had thought possible. I was also very surprised to see that my piece “came together” much more rapidly than I expected. For my own compositions there is rarely a deadline, so having to compose on demand was slightly intimidating and with less time than I am accustomed to, I felt a bit out of my depth. What I realized is that once the process had been set in motion, the music came with great ease and confidence. I also learnt that by using outdated 'ideas' about myself, how well, or fast I play and pick up things, I was holding myself back. This was definitely a case of benefiting from feeling out of my league. It was also useful for me to make a recording; it helps me gain a picture of the self on the harp, and that is incredibly gratifying, motivating and moving for me. It felt very much like a soul mirror for me.

Conference:

Jan's discussion of copyright was eye opening in many ways, but most importantly it highlighted to me the importance of improvisation, the ability to incorporate a familiar 'snippet' into an improvisation as well as composition. I was very intrigued by the heart math presentation, especially the demonstration on how the ability to breathe properly truly affects our heart. Seeing this after spending days learning new skills to help us become more self-aware was particularly appropriate. It also highlighted to me the importance of encouraging the breath in our patients, as it not only allows the effect of working with resonance tone to be enhanced. It is easy to underestimate the effect of simple counting and two tone playing, but seeing it in practice has helped me realize that in practice, that is what may help the most.

Closing Day:

The final day of the module gave me the opportunity to assimilate a lot of the thoughts and the feelings I had been having all week about my harp playing. The presentation on the practicum was an excellent opportunity to ask questions and listen to ones I had not even thought of! It allowed me to assimilate some ideas about my study proposal while my experiences of this week were still fresh. It also allowed me to see the portfolio as a series of manageable tasks instead of one monolithic entity, which helped me put together a tentative timeline and schedule of the order of how things should be done. Finally, the sense of a harp community was palpable, and I look forward so much to continuing to grow together as a group.

ANOTHER REVIEW

I came home from Module 2 with a number of things I learned, was exposed to, and want to explore more of. Besides making friends that I hope to keep in touch with the rest of my life; I felt like my learning was divided into 3 main categories: music and theory, energy work, and my own personal growth. Like different strains of a melody, they weave together to create a beautiful and unique song.

It was amazing to see and understand how the different modes can fit together, transition with a note to another mode, or a minor mode, then transition back. This is something I’ll be using in my work, especially in transitioning patients. Since I haven’t had a lot of music theory, this is an area I will continue to work on, with the tapes, and through experimenting as I work. I look forward to Tape 10 going over the mode transitions, so I can review it whenever I need to.

The part I was really impressed and excited about, and see infinite possibilities in is Resonant Tone. This is an area I would like to work in more, and think I’ll be using this on many of my patients, especially those who are very restless. I see great possibilities with resonant tone being used in areas where there are dissonant tones: for example in traffic, an office, or in a hospital or nursing home. Resonant tones could be found for individuals, common dissonant tones in certain machines, a car, or a piece of office equipment. Music or songs in that person’s tone and modulating the dissonant tones, could then be made in to a song, then put on a CD or tape for the person to play when they are in that situation and becoming stressed or agitated, for example while driving home after work. While it would be a static song, and not changing, it would be a beginning of assisting a person in seeing how the noise in their environment affects them, and how they have power to change those sounds to enhance their energy and how they feel in a stressful or less than optimal environment.

I also wonder how the same familiar song in different keys to match the person’s resonant tone would affect them. Do they like a song because of its memories, words or because of it’s tone, or is it a combination of both? I am thinking about two patients I have at this time; one’s favorite song is in the key of F, the other in the key of C. Would the songs work in different keys? I found a version of the one in C in another key, I think it was in D, and the patient didn’t like it as well. This is definitely an area I will work on using with my patients. One of my friends stopped by on Sunday, so I practiced resonant tone on her. She was a very willing patient, and we were both excited about the possibilities!

The next area was the energy work, which also crossed over with my own personal observations of how to use this. I really like the questioning way of looking at “what’s coming to meet me?” This is an excellent tool, not only in this work, but throughout my life. I feel this also expands to include inclusive attention by asking “what’s coming to meet me?” no only of the patient, but first within myself.

I realized that even though I’ve been working on taking care of myself, years of not taking care of myself have left me really depleted. I especially noticed this during the exercise sending energy from the heart charka. It was very easy for me to give, but hard for me to open up and receive. When I did, it was physically painful, and brought up almost an overwhelming sadness at the beauty of unconditional and infinite love available if I was open to it.

I also realized that areas for me to work on for myself are self-care, compassion for and less judgment about myself when it comes to playing my songs. This is where I want to use the breath, ground, move and sound; and to practice it so it becomes natural, and not something I forget under stress. I think what you said about accessing from source, is absolutely correct. The Reiki and Qi Gong exercises, along with the energy work I already do should help me on this path.

The Chinese 5 elements were very interesting also, although I think I’d have a harder time integrating it into practice. This is another area for me to look at more in depth, especially with the corresponding familiar songs. I found it interesting that I am low on fire, and that’s what I play a lot of and feel drawn to when I’m driving or cleaning house, as the other music lulls me into feeling lethargic.

All in all, this was a full week of ideas and learning, with more ideas that seem to appear each time I look through my notes.